yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize