not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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