Christians are straight up FREAKS
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
