Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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