Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
