watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
