I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
