You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
