if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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