This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
