Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
