Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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