In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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