I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you win again, gameday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
