I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
