what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
