I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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