just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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