she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
