Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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