He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
