I got chris browned last night
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
