You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
