So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
