i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
