You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize