Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
