You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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