Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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