if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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