I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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