the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize