that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
