I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
