She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize