weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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