I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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