3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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