Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
