I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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