Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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