So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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