I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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