im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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