it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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