I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
