how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
