4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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