I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
