so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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