Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
