The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
