Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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